Chia Pet seeds
Your neighbor’s homemade cranberry bread from last Thanksgiving
Honey mustard dressing from a Ruby Tuesday’s salad bar
RoseArt crayons
A poorly attempted Dalgona coffee from the year 2020
A smaller wicker basket
An even smaller wicker basket that fits inside of the previously indicated smaller wicker basket
The Fruit Ninja app on your iPhone that you downloaded in 2011 but can’t seem to bring yourself to delete
Gary Busey’s half-eaten Italian grinder
Your favorite dish from that restaurant that closed nine years ago but you still talk about
Good vibes!
Synergy
A live hen
Hopes and dreams of previous contestants who forget to plate a basket ingredient
The unfinished script to the sequel of “From Justin to Kelly” tentatively titled “From Justin to Kelly and Back to Justin Again”
Tears of your enemies
A crumpled bar napkin someone scribbled on to make sure their pen was working
Ted Allen
The customer copy of the check
Our cash prize of $10,000 which is really just $6,233.38 after taxes
- About the Author
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Mike Miccoli is a former hockey writer turned humor writer whose work has been featured in Weekly Humorist, Slackjaw, and Frazzled. While he’s not finishing his debut novel of satirical short stories, he’s writing essays on the hilarities of parenthood. You can read more at therunner.substack.com or follow him on Instagram @heyitsmikem.
