For decades, KitchenAid has been introducing awesome gadgets and tools that have made cooking so much easier and more fun, but this newest product might be their best innovation yet: KitchenAid just introduced a smart rolling pin that automatically chases your deadbeat husband around town!
This is so cool! Once again KitchenAid has found a way to make life more convenient for cooks everywhere!
Anyone who has ever had a deadbeat husband stick his dirty fingers in your pot of boiling tomato sauce or track his muddy boots all over your newly waxed floors knows how exhausting it can be to pick up a rolling pin and chase him all over town while shrieking about how he’s a good-for-nothing layabout who deserves a smack to the back of the head. The whole process can take hours and leave you completely out of breath—but anyone using KitchenAid’s new smart rolling pin can now fully automate the process. The next time your husband accidentally lets the pigs inside or gets caught flirting with a buxom young milkmaid, you can send the rolling pin to pursue your him here and there while you continue preparing dinner.
This is such a major time saver!
KitchenAid’s smart pin comes equipped with five different speed settings, and is able to chase your husband through the village square for up to 12 hours on a single battery charge. No husband on Earth can outrun a product powered by KitchenAid’s superior electronics, so his no-good ways will never go unpunished. As if that weren’t awesome enough, the smart pin allows you to set the desired level of force it uses to bonk your husband on the head—from a light tap to a blow capable of completely collapsing his skull. No matter how devious a low-life scoundrel your husband is, KitchenAid’s smart pin will be able to punish him accordingly.
Absolutely amazing! Cooking is hard work, and it’s always awesome when a new gadget comes along to make it just a little bit easier. Chasing a deadbeat husband around and around a fountain with a rolling pin while he covers his head and shouts about how sorry he is an unfortunate necessity of most meal prep, but thanks to the geniuses at KitchenAid, it’s one less tedious chore to worry about. We can’t wait to get our hands on a smart pin of our own and watch it in action!
