If you’re one of our practicing Catholic readers, get excited, because your community is on its way to getting another saint: The Catholic Church just reclassified the time Lenny Kravitz’s penis popped out of his pants as a miracle.
And would you look at that—Mr. Kravitz is now well on his way to sainthood!
Back in 2015, musician Lenny Kravitz’s penis burst out of his pants while the singer squatted while performing in Sweden. At the time, the event was portrayed by the media as a wardrobe malfunction that accidentally exposed the “Fly Away” singer’s large genitalia, but now, after years of rigorous examination, the Catholic Church has announced that the penis pop was no accident, but rather a divine miracle.
The report, compiled by the Dicastery for the Causes of Saints, finds several pieces of evidence that prove the event was a miracle, such as the fact that hundreds of women in the crowd had prayed to Mr. Kravitz so that he would show them his penis, as well as the fact that during the incident his penis managed to pop out of clothes, which, on every other day of his life, have successfully concealed his penis. The Pope then agreed that this event could only be explained as the work of the Lord, which has officially given Lenny Kravitz “Blessed” status.
Simply amazing! Only one more miracle and Lenny Kravitz will officially be canonized as a saint! Be sure to pray to Lenny Kravitz tonight to help make Saint Kravitz a reality!
