WASHINGTON D.C. – With representatives of the Israeli government, as well as Hamas, meeting to discuss a potential U.S.-brokered peace, delegates have reportedly been surprised to find that the entire plan consists of one QR code linking to a page where they can nominate President Donald Trump for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Reports from the summit indicate that the Trump Administration’s much-touted Middle East Peace Plan is actually the same QR code, printed on 175 individually-numbered otherwise blank pages, all bound together in one gold-embossed document.
“We really expected this plan to lay out concrete steps for a lasting peace between both sides,” explains a negotiator from the Israeli government, “but instead it’s just a link to the Nobel nomination site, plus AI-generated photos of Donald Trump wearing a Nobel Peace Prize medallion while riding a golden lion through the streets of Gaza.”
At a press conference, White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt insisted the QR-code only Trump Peace Plan was not a misprint.
“Everyone knows that there is no reason whatsoever to bother with orchestrating Middle Eastern Peace unless somebody is going to win the Nobel Peace Prize for it,” explained Leavitt after having a journalist from NPR forcibly ejected. “Nobody cares whatsoever what happens to the pathetic losers living in Israel or Gaza, they only care who gets to win the same recognition that former President Barack Hussein Obama did not deserve.”
Leavitt then added that clicking through the QR code automatically signed the user up for promotional mailing list emails from the Trump family Crypto Exchange, with no way to opt out.
Officials from the Nobel Prize committee note that, while it is customary for honorees to not be nominated until after they’ve accomplished something, there is “strictly speaking, nothing in the rules against being nominated before.”
The official added, “There’s also nothing in the rules against setting up a website to nominate yourself, with the words ‘Gimme the Prize now, idiots’, but we should probably change that.”
In a Truth Social post, President Trump reiterated his demands for a Nobel Peace Prize.
“Nobody deserves this prize more than me, it’s obvious, because nobody even had the idea to try and do Middle Eastern peace before I thought of it. I don’t give a shit if I have to bomb Israel AND Gaza into the ground, I want that prize NOW, dipshits. Thank you for your attention to this matter.”
At press time, the IDF has used the load-time for the QR code to launch a dozen more rocket strikes at Gaza hospitals.
