“I loved competing,” says the former England international Katie Chapman. “I loved the adrenaline of it. That’s what I think I missed, the adrenaline and addiction to competing. I spent years trying to find that feeling again. I ran a couple of marathons and I did all sorts of things trying to hunt that feeling down, but I had to get it into my mind that actually I’m never going to have that feeling again in the same way. I had to teach myself mentally to say: ‘Listen, you’re not going to get that back, so stop trying to find it.’ Once I got there, then I could move myself forward.”
Chapman won a WSL title with Chelsea and two FA Cups before she ended a 22-year career that began with her debut for Millwall Lionesses in 1996 at the age of 14. She was also a critical component in Arsenal’s 2006-07 quadruple-winning team, having joined from Charlton in 2006, and won 13 major trophies with the Gunners across two spells before signing for Chelsea.
She is lacing up her boots again, for the second time in six and a half months, to take part in Chelsea’s legends match against Liverpool at Stamford Bridge on Saturday, having become the first female player to play for the Blues in the reverse fixture at Anfield. All proceeds from Saturday’s game will go to the Chelsea FC Foundation and Chelsea Players’ Trust – two wings of the club that Chapman is keen to support having found her step away from playing tough.
Laura Cordingley, the CEO of the Chelsea Foundation, helps drive the work to support current and former players. “We have a huge duty of care towards those that have come before, not least because it’s really important to the club, but also from a foundation perspective, because our players and past players are so inspirational to the next generation of young people coming through,” she says. “Players can really help us support the right narratives with young people too, with those who may or may not make it as professional football players.”
The support is wide-ranging and for any player who has stepped through the doors in Cobham, be it for 10 years or one day.
“It doesn’t matter when they may need support or what it looks like, we will be there for them,” Cordingley says. “What we really want to make sure is that we’re not overlapping. So, we work closely with the player care team in the academy and we make sure that we’re greater than the sum of our parts. One of the first things we do is go to the PFA [Professional Footballers’ Association] and ask what support they have available. Then we look at how we can be additive to that. It’s about how we bring all the right people together to create the right package of support.”
Chapman, who does many things including working as a pre- and postnatal personal trainer and co-hosting a grassroots football podcast, became a women’s ambassador for Chelsea after retiring, which was a lifeline, but she struggled.
“It’s really tough. I had a mortgage to pay and I had kids to look after and I did need to jump from one job to another. I didn’t have the time to breathe. I was lucky that Chelsea took me on as an ambassador at the club; that helped me with that gap between things.
“I had a lot of anxiety for many years. When you’re an athlete you don’t show weakness – struggling is a weakness – and it’s hard sometimes for you to actually put yourself out there and ask for help and ask what help’s available. It took me quite a long time to come to terms with that and actually think: ‘I do need help, I do need support and it’s not a weakness.’ I had counselling through the Professional Footballers’ Association when I had eventually come to terms with the fact that I was really struggling. Back then there was support available but did we really know it was there and have access to it? Not really. Did we understand what was available? Not really. I think that’s gotten better over the years.”
Losing the structure and routine of professional football is “a big part of it”, says Chapman. “You know what you’re doing on a daily basis, what you’re doing with your body, what training looks like, what meetings look like; everything’s managed for you. There’s also an identity piece as well. You come out and you’re like: ‘Who am I?’”
Chapman had another part of her life to fall back on. As a mother of three she slotted into being “mum” instead of “professional player”.
“I dove into that and I’m grateful for that because I could have ended up in a different space,” the former Chelsea captain says. “Regardless of whether we think we’re ready for the next stage or not, the impact is massive. When I talk to a lot of people, not just in football, but around any sport, it’s the same.”
The risk is that athletes stepping back from their sports, searching for new purpose and obsession, can find it in dark places.
“It can become really dangerous,” says Chapman. “I came out of football and I was like: ‘Oh my God, I understand why people go off the rails and they go in all kinds of different directions and potentially find an addiction somewhere else.’ It is because you’re searching for that adrenaline piece, that feeling that you got from competing, and we can all go different ways with that.”
That is why she cares about the work being done to support players and is taking part in the legends match. That, and she would struggle to pass up an opportunity to play.
“I love it. It makes me feel alive again and puts a smile on my face. It also gives me a rewarding feeling. Finding work that I love and that gives me a rewarding feeling is what matters most.”
Old habits die hard. “It’s funny, my mindset is that if I’m going to do these things, I have to be good,” says Chapman. “So, I train myself to be in the right condition. My mindset hasn’t changed in that sense. Then, I’m going out there representing women, women’s football. If I want to keep pushing women’s football forward, I need to be in the right place and the right mindset to go into that game and give the best I possibly can.”
Talking points
Wafcon expansion: The Women’s Africa Cup of Nations will expand from 12 teams to 16 teams next year. Next year’s Wafcon, the 16th edition, is being hosted in Morocco and was due to have 12 nations but the Confederation of African Nations has announced the addition of four more teams before the second round of qualifying is due from 22 to 28 October. A possible third round of qualifying may be introduced as a result.
WSL salary rules: Minimum salary rules brought in by WSL Football mean that no WSL players of 23 or over will earn less than £40,000 a year. The figure is understood to be lower for younger players and those in WSL2 but young players in the second tier will have a salary above the “national living wage” to enable them to be fully professional.
Quote of the day
I’ve been at United for seven years and we’ve made history every single day since the team was formed. We’ve worked our way up to the top and put in the work so we deserve to be here. I’m over the moon. I’ve always wanted to play in the Champions League and it’s really special to do it with this Manchester United team. It’s a special night for me and the club” – player of the match Ella Toone, speaking to Uefa after her childhood club’s winning start in the Champions League.
Recommended viewing
Watch Karen Dobre talk about her new book on her journey from having no interest in football to becoming a Lewes board member thanks to the equality messaging of the club.
Still want more?
The Women’s Football Weekly podcast covers the WSL title race bursting into life and the debate over taking the knee and early kick‑offs.
Don’t miss our Champions League reports after Arsenal began their title defence with a defeat by OL Lyonnes, Chelsea drew at Twente and United secured that win over Vålerenga.
Sam Kerr is expected to make her Matildas return in friendlies against Wales and England this month.
And read about how the US’s biggest pro women’s sports unions have found strength together.
