Impressionable Teen Falls In With Wrong Socioeconomic Class

LARCHMONT, NY—Noting the 16-year-old had too big of an inheritance ahead of him to throw it all away, the parents of local teen Sutton Langford expressed concern Monday that their son was falling in with the wrong socioeconomic class. “I don’t know what went wrong—we’ve always tried to funnel him towards wealthy, high-class people,” said tearful 53-year-old mother Deborah Langford, who added that she first became concerned after discovering her son had skipped rowing practice to hang out with a mid-level manager’s child. “Kids his age don’t realize the consequences of bringing people who make less than you into your social orbit. The other day I found a bottle of store-brand vodka in his room. I’m just scared that one day I’m going to find him lying in a lawn chair wearing a cheap polo shirt.” At press time, the distraught mother was reportedly upset to learn her son had been seen hanging around a convenience store asking for a part-time job.