Trump Touts Productive Call With Putin About Ballroom Sconces

WASHINGTON—Acknowledging that he was impressed by the foreign leader’s ability to compromise on all kinds of fixtures, President Donald Trump announced Friday that he had participated in a productive call with Russian President Vladimir Putin about ballroom sconces. “We spoke for several hours and made great progress in negotiating whether I should go with a gold or silver finish,” Trump said while examining various wall-mounted lighting options, adding that he was committed to reaching a diplomatic solution in finalizing the design of his planned $300 million White House ballroom. “You know, Vladimir and I aren’t as far apart as critics believe. There’s a lot of overlap in terms of our love for hand-cut crystal, gilded iron, and warm-toned bulbs. This bodes well for when we get to picking chairs.” At press time, Trump had reportedly canceled a planned in-person meeting with Putin following a heated disagreement over paint swatches.