“Eight senators in the Democratic caucus broke with the party late Sunday to vote with Republicans and advance legislation to end the government shutdown.” — New York Times
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Great news, everybody: We finally got them to agree to the deal they wanted in the first place, no concessions. That’s right, we held all the cards and we played them perfectly—by folding.
Here’s the kicker: We even got them to agree not to pass the healthcare subsidies that we’ve been working for. You know, the ones average Americans rely on. Here’s how we did it: We asked, then they said, “No way,” and then we said, “Okay.” That’s how you win.
But we didn’t stop there. We confronted them in the hallway and asked again. They said, “Not now,” and we said, “Great, so next time?” Then they said, “Sure, next time,” and started laughing a little too loudly at each other before walking away. Boo-yah. Mic drop.
This is why you elected us, isn’t it? To stand firm for your future and your family’s future. To make sure that no matter what happens, you can feel confident you’ll have to pay way more to keep that family alive.
Trust us, this wasn’t easy. We had to scratch and claw our way to make this happen because they were putting up a big fight. You know what they did? They went on vacation. That was hard to compete with, but we finally got them to come back from vacation and not do anything we ask. That’s a win in our books.
Now, let’s be clear: We faced some headwinds during this shutdown. For instance, there was all this momentum for our party’s new, progressive, affordability-minded candidates. That was really hard for us to ignore, but we eventually did.
You know who helped us turn the tide? The folks in the other party. That’s right: The ones holding this country’s poor hostage, doing whatever they could to keep people from doing unnecessary things like eating. They offered us a way out, the suckers! All we had to do was agree to all of their terms. It was like taking candy from a baby. Or taking food away from a baby. Or taking health care away from a baby. Or taking pretty much anything away from a baby.
Look, this isn’t over. There will be many more opportunities to give in and let them do whatever they want. Or maybe there won’t be. Maybe we got them so good this time that there will never be a next time. And wouldn’t that be the biggest win for the American people, if your representatives never had to put their necks on the line for you ever again?
