‘We’re Off To See The World!’ Shout Saluting Trump Boys Setting Sail On D.C. Reflecting Pool 

WASHINGTON—Embarking on their self-described “diplomatic voyage” at the National Mall Tuesday while their wives and children waved goodbye, Eric and Donald Trump Jr. reportedly declared, “We’re off to see the world!” as they set sail across the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool. “Anchors aweigh!” shouted Donald Jr. jubilantly, peering through a toilet paper tube while standing proudly at the bow of a makeshift raft fashioned from duct-taped air mattresses and patio furniture as Eric dutifully hoisted a velvet curtain sail. “We’ll write to you as soon as we get to Bermuda. Then we’re off to Paris, and, after that, the jungles of Africa! We’re going to find real pirate gold on an island, and when we get to China, we’ll bring back fortune cookies for everybody. Once we finish sailing all the way around the world, we’ll come back into the reflecting pool from the other side—you’ll see! We’ll be the first explorers ever to do it! Now we just have to wait for a big wave to come along and take us to sea.” At press time, the Secret Service rescued Eric and Donald Trump Jr. after they capsized a quarter of the way through the reflecting pool.