Exhausted Stable Boy Clearly Just Going Through Motions Of Tearing Open Bodice

GLOUCESTERSHIRE, ENGLAND—Audibly sighing as he “listlessly” undid a corset string by the light of a candle, a sulking, exhausted stable boy was reportedly going through the motions Thursday of tearing open Lady Marietta Ashcroft’s bodice. “At first I thought he was distracted by the nickering horses, or the passionate surging of the thunderstorm, but now it seems he’s simply not present at all,” said a sexually frustrated Lady Ashcroft, who observed that the strapping young stable hand had bent her over a hay bale to ravage her with complete disinterest, pausing frequently to relight the candle. “I know my countenance is pleasing, and my bosom is ample, so what the hell gives? Any chiseled lad in his right mind would jump at a chance to engage in a forbidden affair with me. It’s like he barely even cares that we’re of different classes!” At press time, the noblewoman’s husband, back early from business in London, was reportedly scolding the half-clothed pair before half-heartedly joining in on the action.