Are You a Hypochondriac or Oh God Is It the One Time It’s for Real?

There are a lot of ways to freak yourself out over nothing these days. The modern era is a hypochondriac’s worst nightmare. All it takes is one wrong google search or one Tiktok about the early signs of colon cancer to convince you that, actually, you have that for sure. Take this quiz to find out if you’re just being a typical hypochondriac or if this is the first time in your life that your brain isn’t lying to you and your body is freaking out, because this time it’s for real. 

What are your symptoms?

1. Chills, fever, body aches, an illness that won’t go away, and extreme fatigue. 
2. My symptoms align with whatever deathly illness I am reading about right now, so shhhhh. I’m trying to figure out how much longer I have left to live.

Did you start feeling these symptoms before looking them up? Or have your symptoms magically appeared after someone told you about them?

1. I definitely felt them beforehand. In fact, I didn’t think it was anything until my mom mentioned I’ve been sick for months now. 
2. I think I have the symptoms that magically appear after you do some googling. Is that bad? Does that make them worse? Should I get my affairs in order?

Is reading about potential illnesses online making you feel better or worse?

1. A bit better actually! It’s making me feel less crazy for thinking something might be wrong. 
2. I can’t read anymore because my heart is beating so hard that my eyes are vibrating. Is that a bad sign?

Have you heard of psychosomatic symptoms? 

1. Yes! But for what it’s worth, I don’t think this is that. 
2. No. What are those? I think I have that.

Have you experienced hypochondria before?

1. Nah, I’m a pretty chill person and trust my body to fight most illnesses. If anything, I have to be told to take symptoms seriously. 
2. I’ve been a hypochondriac in the past, yes, but I was a different person back then. Everything has built to this moment: the one time I actually have something for real.

RESULTS:

 

Mostly 1’s: It sounds like you probably have something real, but honestly, there’s still a 60% chance you’re making it up and are completely fine. Good luck! 

 

Mostly 2’s: Chill the fuck out, girl. Occam’s razor! The most logical explanation is that you’re freaking yourself out. Have a cup of tea, shut your computer, and watch some CSI. We can positively tell you that this is not the first time your spidey sense is correct despite being 100% wrong in the past.