Bachelorette Party Bankrupts 4 Of Bride’s Fave Girlies

CHARLESTON, SC—In what was originally intended as a “low-key girls weekend,” four of bride-to-be Julia Rose Atkinson’s closest friends were financially ruined this week after her bachelorette party completely bankrupted her fave girlies. “The weekend turned out a bit more expensive than we had anticipated, but of course it was all worth it to celebrate our ride-or-die chica,” said newly insolvent bridesmaid Zara Khan, who quietly canceled her dental insurance after being hit with a surprise $800 charge for damage to the pink party barge chartered for the occasion. “Seriously, the weekend could not have been more perfect. The Airbnb we rented was huge, the spa day was absolutely divine, and the champagne-room VIP club crawl in matching designer ‘Till Death Do Us Party’ sashes was a night I’ll never forget. That’s not even to mention the boozy yoga, the private pole dancing class, the beach day with matching swimsuits and custom towels, the Hummer limo rental, the professional makeup and hair services for the group, the wine tasting and vineyard tour, the bottomless-mimosa drag brunches, the custom ‘Bride Squad’ tumblers, the late-night tattoo stop, the session with a psychic, the sexy male strippers, the first-class plane tickets, and of course the professional photographer who tagged along all weekend to preserve the memories forever.” At press time, the destitute bridesmaids had reportedly made appointments to sell their plasma in order to afford the $600 floor-length sage green gowns required for Atkinson’s wedding ceremony.