“Oh crap, did I catch you in a private moment?? Or is the furious masturbation just part of the ‘scary demon’ thing?”
“Listen, I appreciate the whole smell of sulfur motif you have going on, but I had the lunch buffet at CiCi’s an hour ago, so you may not want to start something you can’t finish.”
“Okay, that’s my mom’s collection of Hummel figurines, please be cool! She would freak out if she knew they had been inside your bottom.”
“If I go upstairs and murder my stepdad in his sleep or something, would you conjure up some curly fries for me? I’ve got the munchies like really bad.”
“If I allow you outside of the pentagram, would you in turn help me with this skin tag on my back that I can’t quite reach?”
“I realize that you’re just doing it to mess with me, but you actually look pretty decent in that dress of my mother’s.”
- About the Author
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Kit has been a regular contributor to MAD magazine for over ten years, and has also been regularly published by National Lampoon, Playboy, The American Bystander, Funny Or Die, SpongeBob Squarepants Comics, Points In Case and many others. His work has been called “sort of like ‘The Far Side’, but more offbeat and often much funnier” by people who should clearly know better. He lives with his wife and two dogs, all of whom do their best to tolerate his presence
