Boo! Just kidding. I am a recently deceased author who has been tethered to the rickety old house just outside of town after my abrupt passing two years ago. That’s right, I’m the hermit who died in that freak laundry machine accident just before I was able to complete my final novel. This has caused me to have unfinished business in the material world that is preventing me from passing over into the ethereal plane. Since I don’t have hands, this is where you come in!
I’m seeking a skilled ghostwriter who is able to write in my voice – more specifically in my prose as I no longer possess a tangible voice. Excellent grammar and spelling are both required. This is a contracted employment opportunity with no chance for additional work – it will only last until the completion of this novel and once it is completed, I will move on from the mortal realm.
This is an in person position located at my previously mentioned house as I cannot leave the grounds. Dress warmly as the living quarters are kept freezing cold for my comfort and temporal requirements as a ghost. Feel free to use the house as you wish during the day, but I will need your full attention on this work nightly from sundown to sunrise.
Payment is my life savings, family jewelry, and the deed to the house that we will be working in. The deed will be signed over via blood contract when the completion of the novel is imminent.
Duties & Responsibilities
Qualifications
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Physical body – all 10 fingers required
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Minimum of 100 wpm
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Previous experience as a Ghost Writer with recommendations
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Previous experience with Ghosts is helpful, but not required
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Able to work nights
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Not easily frightened
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No allergies to ectoplasm
Benefits
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I will facilitate metaphysical contact with a deceased family member or friend
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Priceless experience communing with specters on the ethereal plane
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The satisfaction of helping me finally find peace
Submit a Resume and Cover Letter to ghost.writer@ghostwriter.com with your earliest possible start date.
All interviews will be held via Ouija Board.
[DISCLAIMER: DO NOT APPLY IF YOU HAVE A PACEMAKER. My electromagnetic field will disrupt it making us a Ghost Writer and a Ghost Ghostwriter – which doesn’t help anyone.]
- About the Author
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Alec Brown is a writer, improviser, stand-up, and live entertainer based in Los Angeles. Perhaps best known for his viral TikTok series “Challah At Ya Goy,” Alec has amassed millions of online views. His writing has also been featured on numerous platforms, most notably on Coil’s theater satire site The Broadway Beat and AWF Magazine. Offline, he co-wrote and co-starred in the hit downtown NYC musical comedy show Peter, Paul and Carly, which played a dozen sellouts at The Duplex Theatre. A former member of the Upright Citizens Brigade’s prestigious Academy, Alec has also performed at venues like The Broadway Comedy Club, The Kookaburra Lounge, Flappers, Groundlings, The Pack, The PIT, and more. @thesmartalecbrown
