Home Depot Introduces New 12-Foot-Tall Willem Dafoe

ATLANTA—Saying the novelty decoration would add the perfect touch to Halloween yard displays, the Home Depot announced Friday it had begun selling a new 12-foot-tall Willem Dafoe in stores nationwide. “October just got a whole lot spookier with our exclusive oversized Willem Dafoe ornament!” read the product’s promotional copy, which emphasized that the massive, high-density polyethylene recreation of the Platoon and Antichrist star would be towering over trick-or-treaters after just a few minutes of assembly. “Great for haunted houses, front yards, or anywhere else you want to terrify people with the BAFTA and Golden Globe award winner’s unsettling grimace and misty blue eyes. Plus, built-in LEDs ensure the whole neighborhood can see that distinctive tooth gap!” At press time, the Home Depot had reportedly removed the decorative Dafoe from shelves after numerous parents complained the actor’s face had given their children nightmares.