“Daily Show” host Jon Stewart said President Donald Trump’s absence from the spotlight over Labor Day weekend led to immediate questions about his health ― and even online rumors that he was dead.
“It does say something about the ubiquity of Donald Trump in our lives that we don’t hear from him for 20 minutes and we’re like, ‘He’s dead,’” Stewart pointed out.
Trump reemerged after his holiday absence.
“Trump is alive,” Stewart said. “I definitively would not go so far as to say ‘alive and kicking.’ Something is up with his health.”
The White House has said Trump suffers from chronic venous insufficiency, which involves poor blood flow from the legs back to the heart and leads to the swelling around the feet and ankles seen in photos of the president.
Trump has also been using makeup to mask bruising on his hand, which the White House said is due to frequent handshaking combined with aspirin use.
Stewart did not like looking at pics of Trump’s bruises:
“Jesus, Grandpa, put ’em away! Holy shit!” he said, averting his eyes. “And what’s with the makeup? It’s not like you can treat leprosy at Sephora.”
He noted that those are just the parts of the president’s body we can see.
“I bet everything on that body not covered by clothes is all fucked up right now,” he said.
But Stewart said the president’s hands and ankles might not be the surest sign that something’s up with the president’s health, and it’s not even Trump’s sudden fixation with getting into heaven.
“It’s that whenever any of his biggest supporters are with him, it sounds like they’re saying goodbye,” he said, and rolled footage of a recent Cabinet meeting where each member took turns saying something nice about Trump.
The White House even released a clip recently of Trump offering life lessons that Stewart thought resembled the kinds of videos released to honor the “recently departed.”
“Once you begin to notice this pattern, you begin to see really the whole vibe around this president is very Make-A-Wish kid,” he said. “Everyone who shows up to his office tries to make one of his dreams come true.”
He played clips of Trump getting an honorary badge, or being allowed to hold a sports trophy, or getting a visit from a favorite celebrity.
But there’s a problem with that.
“The people around Trump know that he is a never-ending insatiable black hole of wishes,” he said.
And the Supreme Court may have granted him the most dangerous gift of all.
See more in his Monday night monologue:
