OTTAWA – Facing resistance to proposed austerity measures as well as criticism of his handling of US trade talks, Prime Minister Mark Carney has announced plans to reach millennial Canadians in words they will understand – budget-focused freestyle rap lyrics.
Carney surprised reporters in an impromptu press conference this weekend, stating that he “wanted to do things a little differently this time”.
“Now I know you’ve probably heard I’m a straight-laced old fogey” the Prime Minister said, turning a chair backwards before carefully sitting on it. “But just because I’ve been around the block at the Bank of England doesn’t mean I don’t know how to get… dooooowwwwn,” he added before spinning the chair around and hitting the button on a large black boombox he had brought from home.
“My name’s Mark Carney so come out and play!
Let’s party like it’s a bank holiday!”
The striking move came in the wake of concerns that Carney’s image as a professorial financial expert might be too low-key to appeal to younger Canadians as he pushes his legislative agenda, including the controversial Bill C-5 and economic policies many view as austerity measures.
“Gotta separate the capital and operating spending
Our budget’s twisted like the rhymes I’m bending!
I’m your Prime Minister but you can call me Mark!
Be afraid because my bite is worse than my bark!”
Carney tossed the backwards baseball cap he was wearing into the crowd of reporters, before noting it carefully down as a tax deduction.
“Throw your hands in the air and wave them around like you caaaaaaare…
a lot about fiscal responsibility!
Which is why we need a comprehensive review and amalgamation
of government programs’ service delivery…”
At press time, the Canadian public thought that sure, that old Prime Minister might be lame, but nobody could deny they knew how to throw down.
