In an inspiring report of delusion emerging from an Applebee’s in Chicago, IL, it appears your mom thinks your waiter really liked her.
Sources confirm your mom’s interaction with the waiter could factually be described as cordial but not much more. She ordered the eggplant parm, to which the waiter — 24-year-old sleep-deprived Maddie Hunt — said “Nice choice!”
Your mom then said, “I have it every time,” to which Maddie replied, “It’s so good,” and walked away.
Your mom called after her, “So good! Yeah! That’s what they say!”
By this point, you already knew your mom was about to be insufferable about this interaction, a presupposition that was confirmed when she elbowed you in the ribs and smiled.
“You hear that?” she said smugly. “I think she really liked me!”
Reporters are unsure what part of this interaction specifically made your mom think she and the waiter had amazing platonic vibes, but she was already giddy with newfound joy and friendship.
“She was being polite, for sure,” you countered.
“Well, more than polite,” your mom continued. “I said I liked it and she said, ‘I love it too, girl!’”
You made sure to emphasize that Maddie had not said “girl” even once, and that this seemed to be a fabrication of your mom’s short-term memory.
“No, she said that,” your mom pushed back. “She said, ‘The eggplant parm is the best thing on the menu, girl, and I would know! You and me are the same!”
Reporters confirm this is not at all what Maddie said, and it’s disturbing to see her words he misrepresented almost immediately.
“Look, I know every waiter is just doing their job,” she continued. “But going out of her way to be conversational like that? She really likes me.”
You were hesitant to call this “going out of her way,” but you also didn’t want to seem like a killjoy and ruin your mom’s sweet, if meaningless, moment.
Every time Maddie returned to the table, your mom winked at her inexplicably, even when the things she was saying did not call for a wink at all.
“Could I get a glass of water, Maddie?” she asked, winking. Maddie seemed confused but obliged.
“She thinks I’m so fun,” your mom continued, putting new words in Maddie’s mouth.
As of press time, your mom paid the bill and decided to leave an especially generous tip for her new friend Maddie, a full 18 percent.
