The NFL loves its fans and values the fan experience, and that’s why we’ve haphazardly strewn games across dozens of channels and streaming services without much rhyme or reason other than the fact that we love money. We know you’re eager to root on your favorite team this season—that’s why we’re going to test the collective patience of our audience by making things frustratingly hard to find.
Games on Fridays? Sure, if we feel like it. Two Monday Night Football games some weeks? You better believe it, buddy. Thanks to the NFL, watching your favorite team dominate the gridiron has never been more challenging.
Like Raven’s QB Lamar Jackson escaping pressure from Lions rusher Aidan Hutchinson during their week three matchup—on ESPN, ESPN 2, ESPN+, and ABC—or Aidan Hutchinson chasing down Vikings running back Aaron Jones Sr. on a Christmas day Netflix matchup that is sure to drive a wedge between you and your family— we have faith in our audience’s ability to make a big play by signing up for a streaming service that they neither want nor need so that they can watch their team play once.
Are we worried that our aging fanbase will struggle with downloading apps, logging into platforms, and navigating the world of streaming? Let us answer your question with a question of our own. Ahh, does Russell Wilson play for the Seattle Seahawks? The answer to both is no! But you can tune into Peacock to see Russell Wilson’s New York Giants battle the Kansas City Chiefs during their upcoming matchup.
Trust us when we tell you that you’ll love frantically Googling which channel your favorite team as kickoff nears. You’ll be sweating so much from the stress that you’ll need a terrible towel to wipe off with the perspiration. You can then wave that towel around as the Pittsburgh Steelers take on the Cincinnati Bengals for a week seven matchup exclusively on Amazon Prime Video!
Don’t want to play our little game? That’s fine. Be the only person in your office who didn’t see the Cleveland Browns take on the New England Patriots during their week eight matchup on Fox and FOX one. You’ll be the laughing stock of your friend group when you don’t understand the latest Jake from State Farm reference in the group chat because you were too cheap to pay for Hulu plus live sports, whatever that is.
Whether you’re a Bears fan or a Broncos fan, a Chargers fan or a Commanders fan, or maybe even just a simple Swiftie, know that all of the top NFL action this season will be scattered across a bunch of lousy apps that might also have one other show that your spouse was maybe kind of interested in watching.
From the touchdown dances to the game-winning field goals, you’ll find it all on (please don’t make us type them all again). And before you complain about how hard it is to watch an NFL game, remember that next season it’ll probably be worse.
- About the Author
- Latest Posts
Adam Dietz is a writer and the host of the Home Improvement (the sitcom) podcast “Home Impodcast.” His work has been featured in McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, Slackjaw, and The Art of Autism. He lives in Milwaukee with his partner and their two cats.
