In an inspiring story emerging from a therapist’s office in Seattle, WA, 29-year-old Allie Cervesi is realizing in real time that her relationship is finally in such a good place that she mostly just talks about parent stuff in therapy.
“I’m so used to being in relationships where there are so many red flags that an hour of therapy doesn’t feel like enough,” she told reporters gathered at the scene. “But my ex-boyfriend dumped me, and now here I am, six months into something new and everything is going…literally fine. I didn’t realize that was possible.”
Allie is deeply surprised by this, as evidenced by her insistence that “nobody move.”
The lack of drama means Allie now has time to dig deep into “inner child stuff” with her therapist, Dr. Katie Sharma, instead of spending the entire session trying to remind herself that she is fundamentally worthy of love.
“I mean, I do still have to remind myself that I’m worthy of love, but just because of the parent stuff from when I was a kid!” she continued. “Not because I am being actively gaslit. It’s such a refreshing change. Who knew that when you’re not fighting for your life in a romantic relationship, you get to unpack the past instead? How fun!”
Reporters wouldn’t exactly describe this as “fun,” but they’re glad Allie sees it that way.
“Now I get to focus on things like why I feel the need to people-please so much and why I struggle to detach myself from my value as a worker,” she continued. “Isn’t that awesome? Turns out my parents were getting a bit of a free pass because Chris was being so shitty all the time. Nice try, Dan and Rachel!”
Allie assumed all of her problems stemmed from her inability to foster a healthy relationship, but turns out that’s also a symptom of her upbringing.
“Can you imagine that?” she continued, smiling big. “I can’t wait to discuss how my body image issues were inherited from my mom next week. We’ll probably get into my fear of being reliant on anyone other than myself after that. Wow, I can’t wait!”
As of press time, Allie was seen leaving the therapist’s office in tears.
“Oh, don’t worry about me,” she assured reporters. “I’m just so happy I finally get to talk about the trauma of losing my childhood dog! Things are looking up!”
