After years of being a homebody, I figured it was finally time to prioritize my relationships and set the groundwork for friendships that will carry me through the rest of my life. To this end, I’ve been making plans with friends. For example, a couple of weeks back, I made a plan to get lunch with a college friend whom I haven’t seen in ages.
Today, the unthinkable happened. My friend texted me, “Still on for lunch?”
What the fuck? The plan that was far away is actually now?
I frantically looked through my texts. It couldn’t be. We’d made a plan for four weeks down the road – there’s no way it had already been four weeks! Sure, four Mondays had passed since then, but that had to be different, right?
I pinpointed the original date suggestion and cross-referenced it with the current date, only to find the two were exactly the same. The plan that was once weeks away was now hours away, and I was expected to go through with it. The pain of existence never ceases.
“Damn, was that today?” I texted, hoping to get some leeway from my friend. “Time flies!”
“Yup! We said 2pm on the 30th 🙂 See you at 2?” she responded, giving me absolutely nothing to work with.
I had no option but to relent. I would have to engage in the plan. My parents always told me that the years would whizz past, but I never realized just how quickly time could pass until now. Our existences are fleeting, and every plan I ever make will someday have to happen.
I longed for the blissful period of time when the plan was far away enough that I didn’t have to think about it. What had I done with my life during that stretch? Did I make the most of it? Did I truly, deeply enjoy having a plan on the books that I didn’t have to go to right now? It probably felt amazing. If only I’d appreciated it at the time.
As I got dressed to go for lunch, I took a quick look in the mirror. You did this to me, I thought towards my reflection. You wrote a check that I can’t cash, and I’ll be the one who pays the price. This felt like a lot of money references to use at the same time, so I quit with the internal monologuing.
I took a deep breath and left my house, only to get a text from my friend that she was actually feeling quite sick and would love to postpone. Wow! The plan that is now is actually far away again! I thought. I’m going to live forever!
