Calm down, Chicken Little. The stock market is not a bubble. Just because it’s a thin sphere of liquid that expands every second of every day doesn’t mean it’s a bubble. It could be anything.
You’re worried. You’re saying numbers can’t go up and up forever. I’m saying take a look at the stock market. It’s a light-as-air orb that is floating higher and higher. There is no way that ever stops. It’s not possible.
You really think this transparent domed enclosure is a bubble? Okay, Nostradamus. Next, you’re going to predict tonight’s winning lottery numbers, or tell me when the Red Sox will win the World Series again. Go ahead, I’ll wait.
Maybe you need to get your eyes checked. Not every air-filled spherical cavity is a bubble. That happens all the time in nature for all sorts of reasons. In this particular case, it’s because the American economy is 100 percent healthy and has no underlying issues.
Don’t listen to the eggheads yapping about how companies have low profits and high valuations. Ignore the noise saying CEOs are taking on debt to buy crypto. And most of all, pay no mind to the semi-permanent inflatable structure supported by pressurized air. It’s not what it looks like.
The economy is doing great. I have a chart with an arrow, and that thing is pointed in one direction: up. I don’t see how that could change. This chart used to go back to 2007 and 2000, but my assistant cut those parts off before I could take a look. Now I can focus on the future, and on this rapidly growing hollow globe.
Tech is the future. A handful of tech stocks are propping up this whole enterprise, and that’s a good thing. Tech executives are telling us they’re on the cusp of a revolution, that they’re going to change the world. If I know tech executives, I know they would never lie to us. That’s why we should give them more money and celebrate the large, approximately spherical or ellipsoidal void that shows no sign of slowing down.
That’s enough economics for one day. Now I’m going to sit back, dip a plastic wand in a container of soapy liquid, and blow some clear, floating spheres that will last forever and ever.
