Over a decade after InfoWars peddled conspiracy theories about the Sandy Hook shooting, justice has finally been served: The Supreme Court has ordered Alex Jones to serve as a new child for families who lost kids in Sandy Hook.
Good. Becoming a child of the families he harassed is the least Alex Jones could do to atone for his actions.
In a ruling issued this morning, the Supreme Court’s decision placed former InfoWars host Alex Jones under the shared custody of each of the Sandy Hook victims’ respective families, to be reared as their very own kid. Jones will now split his time between 20 sets of parents, who will raise him from a newborn to a teen until he achieves legal adulthood just as a child would under ordinary circumstances. The families will have the opportunity to guide Jones’ upbringing as they see fit, meaning he may be raised as a variety of different religions, required to join daily breakfasts, lunches, and dinners across 20 different households, and subjected to every family’s individual household rules, including screen time limits, curfews, chores, and discipline.
Following the ruling, Jones’ attorney told reporters that “[his] client will respect, the Supreme Court’s decision, as disappointing as it may be.” As the attorney offered his comments, Jones was swaddled, placed in a baby carriage, and taken home by the first of 20 twenty families he will be a child of until 2043.
Without a doubt, you can bet these Sandy Hook families will raise Alex Jones to have stronger values than he’s demonstrated over his career!
Now that’s what we call “karma”, folks. If you ask us, Jones got off easy. Nonetheless, it’s beautiful that these families can close this tragic chapter of their lives and begin a beautiful new one with their new mutual child, Alex. Let’s pray this deters all other conspiracy-pushing lunatics from harassing people like Jones did!
