In 2016, the Republican party became the party of Donald Trump. His ascent to the Oval Office marked a sharp turning point for mainstream conservatism, and as I’ve watched the party drift towards a more reactionary, sycophantic, and inconsistent ideology, it’s grown into a political movement I no longer recognize or identify with. We’re not even a full year into Trump’s second term, but it’s already clear: The upstanding Republican party I lied to myself about ever existing doesn’t exist anymore.
What happened to Republicans like John McCain, Mitt Romney, or Colin Powell, who I did a lot of mental gymnastics to convince myself were decent, moral people with convictions? These Republicans as I’m misremembering them would never survive in today’s GOP.
Not so long ago, the Republican party of my delusions had values. Its platform didn’t revolve around culture war buzzwords, fear-mongering, or kowtowing to Trump’s ever-flip-flopping whims. The conservatives I grew up inventing backbones for believed in family values, free market enterprise, and limited government. Though you may disagree with Reaganism, you cannot say the Ronald Reagan of my naive imagination wasn’t a respectable, principled leader who wanted the best for his country and its people. The decency and civility I deceived myself into thinking old school Republicans like Reagan possessed is nowhere to be found in the Grand Old Party of 2025.
I’ll take Republicans like George Bush, Dick Cheney, and Condoleezza Rice, whose corruption and conscienceless cruelty to the world’s most vulnerable people I’m selectively ignoring, over the Marjorie Taylor Greenes, Lauren Boeberts, and Matt Gaetzes of today. Any day of the week.
These days, it’s hard to call myself a Republican when I see how deeply President Trump lacks any of the principles I fabricated for the conservative leaders who originally drew me to the party. Of course, no politician is perfect, and I don’t expect them to be. You’re never going to agree with every little thing your representatives do. Throughout my life, there have been no shortage of Republican policies and tactics I’ve been willing to defend, look past, deny, or make up wildly convoluted justifications for. But Trump’s reckless approach to global leadership, and the way he’s surrounded himself with grifting lackeys, are too much for me to excuse.
I hate to say it, but the honest, upright Republican party I tricked myself into believing was real is as dead as it’s always been anywhere outside my flights of fancy. Perhaps once Trump is out of office, the party will come to its senses and re-embrace the values they once stood for in my unfounded and misinformed perceptions. I’m not holding my breath.
