Here’s a rather lovely thing that all began when @harpyfox shared this tale of when they found themselves using an especially old-school phrase that they’d never uttered before – and haven’t done since.
said “bob’s your uncle” in an interview today. what the fuck i dont say bobs your uncle. ive never said that phrase in my LIFE
— harper! (@harpyfox) July 30, 2025
It turned out to be a hugely reliable story for all sorts of people who shared their very funny stories of when they did something similar.
The second time I was at a work conference I kept telling people it wasn’t my first rodeo as a way of saying I’d been to a conference before, never said it before haven’t said it since https://t.co/v1xGt1fBLM
— Iain (@iainhoey) July 30, 2025
Had an interview once where I said “the whole gamut” but pronounced it in a way that would rhyme with “kaput” despite never pronouncing it that way before in my life and immediately knew I wasn’t getting that job. I wanted to just get up and leave right then. https://t.co/j5FC3CSIvI
— tugboy fresh (@TugboyFresh) July 30, 2025
Leaving the counter in the airport in Bogota, after the guy helped fix my ticket.
I did the smack on the counter then finger gun into “gracias”
I immediately thought “what the fuck was that?” https://t.co/BNxACiagTV
— Chocolate Dinosaur | Directed by Tristan T.A. Hill (@TristanTaylor88) July 31, 2025
one time I dropped something in the store and said “whoops-a-daisy” and the guy standing next to me turned around and stared at me with the death look in his eyes like I’d shot him point blank https://t.co/Nnfuf686Ks
— Oliver Darkshire (@deathbybadger) July 31, 2025
Said “pump your brakes” once to a coworker out of the blue but it’s come with me ever since https://t.co/w3A6QWtJur
— Shaggable Shaggy (@BenStarRkK) July 30, 2025
one time years ago i walked past a coworker taking a smoke break outside, and my brain couldn’t decide whether to say “hi” or “howdy” so i waved and said “how”
— Lexa (@Lexacutable) July 31, 2025
one time i burned the shit out of my hand with a cigarette while completely alone and instead of saying like “fuck” or something i cried “YOWZA!” https://t.co/lZDBb4hvsj
— Virgbert West: V-Animator (@veanimator) July 31, 2025
Leaving the counter in the airport in Bogota, after the guy helped fix my ticket.
I did the smack on the counter then finger gun into “gracias”
I immediately thought “what the fuck was that?” https://t.co/BNxACiagTV
— Chocolate Dinosaur | Directed by Tristan T.A. Hill (@TristanTaylor88) July 31, 2025
But there could surely only be one winner. This one, from @roryisconfused, about an awful sounding incident that happened in north-west London a few days before Christmas a while back.
One time I got mugged at knifepoint by two guys and I found myself saying, first and foremost, in reaction to seeing the knife, for reasons that are absolutely beyond me, “now hold on a minute there compadre.” https://t.co/IFoSPOHYEV
— Rory McCarthy (@roryisconfused) July 30, 2025
Mega oof.
This shit is so disarming it might have worked
— neuroblossom (@neuroblossom) July 31, 2025
some youths grabbed my wallet from my purse in bushwick and when I turned around to confront them my reaction was to roll my eyes and say “Really…?” in a sassy tone for reasons i also cannot comprehend
— hyper(bolic) disco(unting) girl (@hyperdiscogirl) July 31, 2025
A tween pulled a gun on me in Mexico and I said, “Look at that,” to no one in particular
— Sunk Cost Pharisee (@Liamjsm) July 30, 2025
I suppose one tends to act awkwardly in awkward situations and a literally life-threatening situation is, among other things, awkward, in that one doesn’t quite know how to act.
— Rory McCarthy (@roryisconfused) July 30, 2025
To conclude …
Pure gold thread. https://t.co/npnInI6fPQ
— MistSandGrass (@Mistsandgrass) July 31, 2025
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There’s a ‘7-mile alien craft’ heading towards Earth and of all the responses Professor Brian Cox’s A++ comeback was out of this world
Source @harpyfox
