Get ready to roll your eyes, because the following story is about an engaged couple seriously trying to oversell the city they’ve chosen for their nuptials: This couple lists like 14 things to do in Cincinnati on their wedding website as if there’s any time for that.
JFC. Guys, your guests will be going to your wedding, not five random fountains.
Recently engaged couple Sarah Popov and Tim McMillian have listed over a dozen activities on the “Things To Do” tab of their Zola wedding website, apparently under the delusional impression that their friends and family are planning to squeeze a full tour of Cincinnati fucking Ohio in between Friday’s rehearsal dinner and welcome drinks, Saturday’s ceremony, reception, and afterparty, and Sunday’s brunch. While Sarah and Tim clearly have their hearts in the right place and want to make sure their guests get the most of out their several hundred dollar trip to southwest Ohio, they’d have to be insane to think that anyone is going to get up at 5 a.m. the morning of the wedding to drive 45 minutes out of the city and visit the Baha’i temple they’ve recommended visiting.
Though it’s certainly sweet the couple has painstakingly listed what they love about each recommended thing activity, whether explaining that one of the breweries has Sarah’s favorite IPA and how the art museum has an exhibit devoted to one of Tim’s favorite painters, the list presumes a world where their guests have actively chosen to spend extra days in Cincinnati, which, sorry to say, is simply not the world we’re living in. Literally everyone from out of town will fly in Friday afternoon and fly out Sunday morning. Just the way it goes.
Face palm. We hate to burst Sarah and Tim’s bubble, but the only way their guests would visit the casino during their wedding weekend is if they skipped their wedding to go to the casino instead. Here’s hoping they just delete that tab on their website entirely, because it was clearly a waste of time.
