U.S. Becomes First Country To Recognize Mega-Israel

WASHINGTON—Calling the ongoing violence in the region “disgusting” while pledging America’s unwavering support, President Trump announced Monday that the United States would be the first country to recognize the state of Mega-Israel. “We recognize the right of Mega-Israel to exist as an ever-expanding sovereign nation,” said Trump, who added that he believed the West had turned a blind eye to Mega-Israel for too long, and that Mega-Israel had the right to defend whatever they claimed their borders to be. “Today, I called Giga-Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, and I told him that the U.S. stands behind Mega-Israel, its Mega-land, and its Mega-army. As such, we will continue to provide them with military support as they face attacks from the Micro-Middle East.” At press time, Trump announced plans for the United States to officially back a one-Mega-Israel solution.