We, the GOP, don’t want a shutdown, but Democrats are dangerously close to keeping health insurance costs from spiking.
We, the GOP, don’t want a shutdown, but that’s just how things go when you only control all three branches of government.
We, the GOP, don’t want a shutdown, but somebody has to do something about the federal workers who still have jobs.
We, the GOP, don’t want a shutdown, but what’s the alternative? Negotiate? We don’t negotiate with terrorists. Did you see Hakeem Jeffries in that sombrero hat? Terrorist!
We, the GOP, don’t want a shutdown, but we never considered the possibility that Democrats would show some spine. Therefore, we did not consider any alternatives, and we had no backup plan.
We, the GOP, don’t want a shutdown, but illegal immigrants are getting free health insurance. Well, “illegal” in our opinion. And they are paying for it. Still.
We, the GOP, don’t want a shutdown, but it’s not our fault that the Democrats only have one true patriot (John Fetterman).
We, the GOP, don’t want a shutdown, but the librarians had it coming.
We, the GOP, don’t want a shutdown, but we promised our constituents we’d make Washington dysfunctional. This was all outlined in Project 2025, which we assume people read before voting for us.
We, the GOP, don’t want a shutdown, but the alternative is letting people find out Democrats were right about something.
We, the GOP, don’t want a shutdown, but if the government stays open, what are we supposed to fundraise off of?
We, the GOP, don’t want a shutdown, but at least now we have a good excuse to lay off federal workers from states that voted for Kamala.
We, the GOP, don’t want a shutdown, but an X account with 47 followers called me a RINO, and I will get primaried if anyone sees that.
We, the GOP, don’t want a shutdown, but government is socialism, if you think about it… SOciialLiZmMm… SppPpoOookKy…. ZoooHrAAn MaMdAAAAniiiiiiiiii. (Another person we intend to fundraise off of.)
We, the GOP, don’t want a shutdown, but we had at least one internal poll showing Democrats would get blamed for it, and so we already filmed our “standing strong against the establishment” campaign ads.
We, the GOP, don’t want a shutdown, but we don’t actually live off of our government salaries, so we’ll be okay.
