It’s supposed to be gorgeous out, and we can’t spend such a gorgeous weekend trapped in the house by the bathroom.
It’s supposed to be gross out, and it will be hard enough having our toddler stuck inside all weekend without adding potty training into the mix.
I mean, did you see the news that just came out about Miles Teller? I don’t know how we’re supposed to focus on anything else with that whole situation going on.
We’ve already committed to making this the weekend when we pretend we’re serious about getting her to stop using her pacifier rather than the one when we pretend we’re serious about getting her to use the potty.
We don’t want to.
We want to so badly that not doing it seems like a valuable opportunity to teach ourselves and our toddler about the benefits of self-denial.
One of his cousins is just about finished with potty training, and we need to let her enjoy her moment in the sun for a weekend or six before we swoop in with great potty training news of our own.
My parents are visiting, and we don’t want the stress of potty training to ruin a fun weekend with them.
My parents aren’t visiting, so we can’t make them do most of the work while we take 117-minute showers.
We just now realized that we haven’t arranged our Stephen King novels in order of how much they scared us, and we obviously need to rectify that before we can move onto any other task.
This weekend is May 14-16. Do I really need to explain that any further?
It’s not a three-day weekend, so we won’t have enough time for the potty training to really stick.
It is a three-day weekend, so of course we made a ton of plans.
It’s a three-day weekend where we don’t have any plans apart from having one friend come over whose toddler is already potty trained, which would probably just help motivate our toddler to want to use the potty, too, and the weather will be bad enough where you don’t really want to go outside but nice enough where you still could go outside if you need to get a bit of fresh air. Conditions are actually too perfect, in other words. Something must be up.
We’re only five weekends away from having a really busy weekend, so it’s important for our own mental health that we just take this one to relax.
Another family member is already using the potty, and while they probably won’t end up being in there all weekend, do we really want to take that chance?
It seems more efficient to wait until our newborn is also ready in about two years and just do this whole thing once rather than twice.
Phish is in town this weekend, and there is a chance their van might break down right outside of our house, meaning they would have to come in and use our phone, and if they enter to find us strenuously cleaning up after poop accident number four, it could totally throw off the relaxed hippie vibe they have spent decades perfecting and ruin their big show.
We are sending him off to college and don’t want to add potty training worries to what will already be a tough weekend.
We’re supposed to help our friend move his antique grandfather clock out of his sixth-story walkup. Although now that we think about it, that actually sounds even worse than potty training. So, hey, I guess this weekend is potty training weekend after all.
