We’ve all been there. You’re receiving an enthusiastic, well-performed blowjob and time seems to slow to a crawl. You want nothing more than for the tedium to be over, but it seems like you’re trapped in endless purgatory with your beautiful partner’s willing mouth. But what if we told you there are ways you can turn that crawl into a haul? Here are five secret techniques that make getting a blowjob fly by.
1. Keep your eyes off the clock.
Listen up, because this first secret can cut the perceived duration of a blowjob in half. Repeatedly checking your watch during a blowjob only triggers your mind to think about how slowly time appears to be going by and how long you still have before it’s over. Before the blowjob starts, be sure to remove your watch and put your phone away. If the blowjob is taking place somewhere with a clock in plain view, like a kitchen or office breakroom, try to keep your eyes focused on a wall or ceiling to keep both the clock and the blowjob out of your visual field.
2. Have conversations with yourself and perform mental challenges.
What if we told you the most powerful tool you have for tolerating agonizing, seemingly endless tasks like having your dick sucked really well is right between your ears? That’s right: It’s your own brain. Have a political argument with yourself. Write the first chapter of your memoir in your head. Try to list off as many Beatles songs as you can. By drifting off into stimulating mental activities, you can forget all about the fact that you’re getting a blowjob and escape to the sanctuary that is your own consciousness.
3. Set milestones.
Ever wonder how military pilots and endurance athletes perform arduous, grueling labor without going insane? Instead of looking at every flight mission or marathon as a single chore, they break them up mentally into individual milestones. First milestone of getting a blowjob: Your partner takes your penis out of your pants. Second milestone: You become hard. Third milestone: Your partner cups your balls for a bit while spitting on the head of your penis. And so on. By breaking a single blowjob reception into multiple individual tasks, it will feel as though you’re actually getting somewhere and moving forward the entire time instead of standing still.
4. Visualize your penis not being sucked, licked, and jerked off with passionate abandon.
The power of visualization is frequently used by top-performing CEOs, artists, and athletes to achieve greatness, but the everyday blowjob-getter can harness this remarkable power as well. By looking down at your penis while it’s being fellated and visualizing that the luscious wet lips of your partner aren’t wrapped around it in service of your pleasure, and that it’s instead hanging out there with nothing happening to it at all, you can make the time spent getting a blowjob feel like any other time. Properly utilizing visualisation techniques while getting a blowjob is as close as you can get to using time travel to fast-forward to the end of it.
5. Consider it an opportunity to build your patience and resolve.
Even the most successful, high-performing people occasionally have to do things they don’t want to do, but instead of viewing these moments as time-wasting inconveniences, they seize the opportunity to learn and grow. Receiving oral pleasure to orgasm may be a trying task, but if you treat it as a skill-building experience, you can take what you learn and apply it the next time you’re slogging through having a three-way or receiving a topless foot massage. Look, you’re going to have to lie there and get that blowjob whether you like it or not, so you may as well make the best of the situation and walk away with something more than just a satisfied cock.
