White House Touts Affordability Of Hay-Based Thanksgiving Dishes

WASHINGTON—Responding to concerns about high grocery prices ahead of the holiday, President Donald Trump held a press conference Wednesday to tout the affordability of hay-based Thanksgiving dishes. “I’m doing a great job on the economy and bringing the price of Thanksgiving dinners way down by encouraging Americans to replace costly ingredients with straw,” said Trump, adding that the low-cost, grass-based livestock feed could be shaped into the form of a roasted bird or baked into casseroles and pies. “Thanksgiving meal prices are down 33% compared to what they were under Biden, and now you can stay full by chewing on the hay for hours and hours. Americans consuming dried grass out of necessity is just another sign that the United States has the strongest economy in the history of the world—horses eat this stuff, and look how strong those guys are. I promised to lower cud prices for Americans, and by God have I delivered. Bet you can’t eat just one bail!” Trump then asked Vice President JD Vance to show Americans that hay was delicious by eating some off the floor for the camera.