Don’t look now, but to your left is without a doubt the biggest earner in this Starbucks. That’s right: The guy in this cafe with a huge fucking laptop must be really important.
Like, whoa.
In stark contrast to the meandering creatives or bohemians “working” out of this cafe at 2 p.m. on a weekday, the guy just two seats away from you has an absolute monstrosity of a laptop that effectively screams “I AM A POWER PLAYER IN MY INDUSTRY.” Though the laptop looks like it’s at least 15 pounds in weight and it doesn’t even fit on the small cafe table, the guy is loudly and quickly typing on his giant laptop as it audibly overheats, which is yet another sign that he is definitely up to some work of critical importance.
Is he negotiating with foreign nations? Coding crucial government infrastructure? Building the next society-changing app? There’s no way to know for sure, but if his button-down that’s covered in croissant crumbs is any indicator, he is definitely making bank doing whatever he’s doing—which makes sense given that a laptop that big surely costs way more than a regular one. The fact that he decided to leave his home or office with a laptop that cumbersome suggests that he prioritizes work over comfort, and that’s certainly the mindset of a CEO.
Hey barista, get this man another black iced coffee, stat!
Fingers crossed the annoyingly loud middle schoolers who just showed up and ordered frappuccinos shut their traps soon, because this man needs to focus!
