If you were considering ending it all today, you might want to just go for it, because your current situation is actually worse than if you straight-up dropped dead: Your Zoom got pushed back two hours.
Ukraine. Palestine. ICE raids. Tariffs…. NOW THIS?!
It’s starting to feel as though maybe your life is just a game to everyone around you, because the Zoom call you’ve had scheduled for two weeks—which took about six weeks before that to schedule—just got pushed back two hours. Do we even need to say that the person you’re meeting with, who won’t just stick to a simple goddamn plan, is higher up than you career-wise and clearly views your time as meaningless?
Be careful not to get so mad you punch a hole in the wall, or else you’ll have to change around your whole little Zoom setup in the “office” corner of your living room so no one can see the damage to the drywall.
Worst of all, the person you were supposed to Zoom with pushed back your Zoom for a different Zoom—which is crazy, because if they want to be on Zoom so bad, why can’t they just Zoom you, like they were supposed to do? The person you’re dealing with is clearly a sick, twisted individual who thinks that you can have your day set back two full hours with zero consequences. What, are you supposed to start on the tasks you were saving till after the Zoom? Because that just won’t work—it would feel all wrong according to the plan you made for yourself this morning. Now you’re going to do nothing all afternoon while waiting for this Zoom, which, let’s be real, may not even happen at all the way things are going.
GAH!!!!!!
Okay, you just punched a hole in the wall. We wanted to avoid that, but it’s okay. No need to even move that setup after all—you can just use a nice woodland Zoom background to cover it up. No one will be able to tell. And if they do notice and say something, you can just say your cat did it. Who even cares, at this point? Here’s hoping your Zoom is never, ever pushed back again.
