Listen. The big moment is here. And yes, it might go wrong. But you’ve come too far to let it slip by without giving it your all. Take a deep breath in, and a deep breath out. It’s go time: the flight attendant is about to walk past your row with the little trash bag.
You’ve got this. Just relax and let it happen.
Ever since you finished your Biscoffs 45 minutes ago, you’ve become so nervous wondering when the attendant will come back to collect the trash, and whether or not you’ll seem normal or like a freak at that moment, that you’ve barely even watched a second of Paddington In Peru. Finally, blessedly, you can see her coming down the aisle with the trash bag, and you’ve already grabbed your empty Biscoff wrapper, shoved it into your empty ginger ale can, and put that can inside the empty plastic cup. You’ve condensed your trash: you’ve done your part. Now you wait. Yes.
Believe you can do this. You’re in the window seat, so you’re going to have to make a reach. Just be polite. Your seatmate isn’t ready for the trash at all—his trash is everywhere. Good. That will buy you some time, and even make it more acceptable if your arm bumps into him a little as you make your reach. He’ll be understanding. Not that he’ll necessarily need to! Your reach for the trash will be great. Just saying, it’s okay if it’s not perfect. It will all be okay.
The flight attendant is at your row now. Your trash is fully consolidated. Your thank you is ready to go. Hell, you’re already smiling. You’ve imagined this moment all flight long. Whatever happens happens, but know that you’ve done the work, and even though no one in life deserves anything, by God do you make a case for yourself to deserve a seamless garbage-tossing experience. Now reach out that arm and throw out that trash!
