Giannis Antetokounmpo Panicking After Waking Up 3-Foot-2

MILWAUKEE—Staring down in utter terror at his suddenly oversized pajamas, Milwaukee Bucks power forward Giannis Antetokounmpo reportedly panicked Wednesday after waking up 3-foot-2. “Oh, no, this is bad—this is really, really bad,” the nine-time NBA all-star said as he jumped up and down to glimpse his diminutive form in a mirror, wondering aloud in a voice two octaves higher than normal how he could possibly play in the Bucks’ regular season opener against the Wizards later that day. “This is the worst thing that could’ve happened to me, and at the worst possible time! I was 6-foot-11 when I went to bed last night. What the heck happened? My teammates are counting on me to be tall!” At press time, Antetokounmpo was seen stuffing his size-16 shoes with newspaper and gelling his hair extra high in hopes of making himself look tall enough that no one would notice.