Katy Perry, Orlando Bloom Awkwardly Pretend Not To See Each Other While Out Naked Paddleboarding

CAGLIARI, ITALY—Groaning as they both realized the other unclothed person on the water was indeed their ex, Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom reportedly pretended not to see each other Monday when they inadvertently crossed paths while naked paddleboarding off the coast of Sardinia. “Oh no, you’ve got to be kidding me—what the hell is he doing in the Tyrrhenian Sea?” the pop star said under her breath, attempting to maintain a neutral expression and stare straight ahead as she glided closer and closer to the 48-year-old actor, who was pointedly doing the same. “Of all the people I could have run into, it had to be him. Come on, Katy. Play it cool. Just pretend you don’t see him. He probably doesn’t even notice you. Oh no, don’t look at his penis!” At press time, Perry had reportedly dived off her paddleboard after spotting Russell Brand.