LOS ANGELES – After sixteen years, comedian, actor, and aggravated cat owner Marc Maron has taken a bold step into the unknown by turning off his microphone and not hosting a podcast.
“Look, I’m a recovery guy,” said the former host of WTF with Marc Maron. “One day you wake up and you realize you’re at rock bottom and need to turn your life around. And what’s a bigger sign of being at rock bottom than having a podcast?”
In a climate where everyone assumes the world is desperate to hear their every opinion on politics, mixed martial arts, or why their spouse left them, Maron stands as a beacon of originality by not talking about that into a microphone.
“I can’t believe that I won’t be able to hear another one of his great conversations,” said long-time WTF fan Shane Fleming. “I mean, I haven’t listened for the past five years because I’m too busy recording my own podcast. It’s called Cut the Cheese, where I discuss cheesemaking and review cheeses from around the world. This QR code will take you right to my Spotify page. I’m ranked #73,865!”
Maron says he will spend his newfound free time relaxing, touring, and thinking about the cultural damage he has wrought, now that hordes of mediocre men stampede the lone podcasting path he forged as they constantly vomit out and upload their justifications for why we need to turn our backs on centuries of progress and return to a medieval society.
“At least I never bought a camera,” laments Maron. “Now you have to watch these morons while they say the dumbest shit.”
“Fuck! Excuse me. Charlie! Stop beating on Buster!”
At press time, Joe Rogan has repeated to an audience of millions something easily debunked if you bother to read a fucking book.
